A friend is someone who you can speak to as if you are speaking in a room, alone, by yourself; no one there judging you.
Sadie and Rose, both in their late 80s, lived the good life on the Florida coast. Their daily two-hour stroll was the highlight of their life-long friendship.
One day, Sadie could not remember Rose's name! She gathered all her courage and began, "Promise me you won't get upset with my question."
'Upset? At you?" Rose responded. "You are my closest friend."
"I forgot your name," Sadie confessed. "I am so very sorry ... Please can you remind me of your name?"
___
Consider these words: "Assume for yourself a master, acquire for yourself a friend and judge every man to the side of merit." —Avot 1-6
The "master" is not necessarily a "guru." Rather, she or he is a spiritually evolved and pious person who can be counted on for guidance and direction. While hardly the only form of friendship, this may be the highest form.
My teacher, the Rebbe, was once asked by a professor, "Why do so many people fly from around the world to come and see you?"
The Rebbe responded, "They come because I am a friend."
"A friend?" asked the perturbed professor rhetorically. "I am a friend too, but they don't come from all over the world to see me!"
"Perhaps, we need to make sure we have the same definition," responded the Rebbe, who then asked, "What do you think a 'friend' is?"
Now, it was the Rebbe's turn to answer his own question. "A friend is someone who you can speak to as if you are speaking in a room, alone, by yourself; no one there judging you."
High-tech may have replaced how we make and keep friends, but the core of friendship remains unchanged. It is said that truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget. But a good friend could be the missing ingredient for a struggling child or young adult, a parent or older person trying to cope or any of us who simply want to do the right thing.
And to conclude the story I began at the beginning of this column:
Sadie was overwhelmed with despair because she had to ask Rose, "What's your name?" As Rose, overcome with surprise and hurt, wiped her own tears, she recovered her composure. She turned to Sadie and responded, "How soon do you need to know?"